King of Sleep

I am pretty awesome in real life, but I am even more awesome in my dreams. One time in my dreams I could swim over a mile without even getting tired. Another time I rhymed 7 other words with the word "cat", without even thinking about it. So I am going to try really really hard to be master and commander of my dreams so that I can always do these awesome things when I sleep. I sleep like 10 hours a night anyways, so I might as well be doing awesome things rather than just laying there doing nothing like an idiot.
But, if I am doing really awesome stuff in my dreams I have to be prepared to be supremely disappointed when I wake up. Because if I am a master rhymer or something in my sleep and I can rhyme like 7 words with cat, Ill be really pissed when I wake up and can only think of 4 or 5 words that rhyme. Or if I am just swimming a mile without even trying and I wake up and I don't even know if I can swim a mile without even trying in real life because there isn't a mile's worth of water anywhere around me to even try it out, well, then Ill be really pissed. Really, really pissed.

Swimming Trick

A fun trick is to go to your local community swimming pool with a whole load of weights hidden in your swim trunks and then go to the high dive and pretend to jump off, but really just throw the weights into the water and everyone will get splashed and then wonder who splashed them and not see anyone surface so they think that the person is drowning and they will go down there to look for him but they won't find him because they think they are looking for a really fat guy, but since you are the only one that knows what is really going on you can jump in to the rescue and grab some other random dude and be the hero.

Really, you're awesome

There are some truly, truly awesome people out there, but they just don't know it because they are too busy trying to be normal and healthy. So it is a good thing to do to run up to these people really fast and tell them really loud that they are really awesome and they don't know it. Like this one time I saw this old male nurse, and he was just walking along, not even realizing that he was really really awesome, so I ran up to him and shouted about his awesomeness to him and he suddenly realized and decided to walk the other way. I think it was kind of a symbolic gesture of him turning from his old, dull ways and pursuing a life of extraordinary feats and adventures.

Tricks

It is fun to play tricks on people, like telling them to stand next to you and then keep moving so they are running around and around and trying really hard to stand next to you while you keep moving until you both get so tired of running around that you just fall down exhausted and start laughing, and that is a good time to introduce yourself.

Frederick Douglass

Delicious Fruit

God elects people for Heaven, and there really isn't free will.
So one half of the debate goes.
But what about the Garden of Eden. Adam and Eve had free will. It was God's desire for them to live in perfect harmony with Him, but he gave them an option. They chose the bad option, and now I feel like we have to each make that choice on our own. Because if God makes it for us then there really wasn't any need for the fruit tree in Genesis.

Opposition

So I want to walk with God. I want to commune with Him throughout the day. There are times when I forget about this which probably happens because I am lazy and don't really focus my attention on him, or get distracted by things of the world. But there are other times when I am alone, focusing all of my energy on Him, and still I have trouble experiencing Him. I will get random thoughts about terrible things, or get bombarded by distracting thoughts, or sometimes just feel sick or get a headache. These things can't be coming from the world because I am alone and isolated from the world. They can't be coming from my sinful nature because I am trying with all my heart to find God. This is when I see evidence of Satan in my life. This is when I realize that there is much more going on around me than I realize, and that there is a war going on that I have been oblivious to. I don't want to blame everything on Satan or demons, but there are some times when there is no other option for what is oppressing me.

This is when a lot of Christians think that God is just not active in their life, because they seek him and there is still a fog. They think He just didn't show up. That also happened to Daniel when he sought God and there was a literal battle between angels and demons for 21 days before the angels could break through and answer Daniel. Now I'm not saying that happens all the time with us, but I also think "why not". Why doesn't that still happen? Satan is still at war with God and he is constantly prowling around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. And by "someone" the bible is referring to Christians.

Taken Out

I feel like I've been taken out.

At the end of the Wild at Heart conference I went to in Colorado I was on a spiritual high, and John Eldridge warned us that Satan would do everything he could to take us out, to make us complacent and lose the passion we had. I thought that was just for the weak Christians, but man he can really attack us without us knowing.

I had kind of a wake up call yesterday when I was sitting at my desk and daydreaming about stuff. I realized that I have been ineffective in my walk with Christ and how much I missed my deep fellowship and intimacy with Him that I used to have. I can't even remember when or how I lost it. I just got caught up in daily mundane business and lost my eternal perspective and didn't put enough time into my relationship with God.

The hardest part of the whole thing is that I feel like I used to be really really close with God, like he was so real and part of my life constantly, and now I miss that. I miss Him like I would miss seeing my best friends after a while, or after being away from Carly for a long time. But it is even more than that because I realize that it's my own stupid fault and that I don't have to miss Him. But now it's so hard to figure out how to get back to where I once was.

I just read the chapter in Waking the Dead yesterday about guarding your heart, and I realized that I haven't done anything for my heart, or even paid attention to it for a long time. In fact, it's been so long that I don't even know what I would like to do for my heart.